super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
