dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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