Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
