Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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