i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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