I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
