Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
