I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Randomize
