I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Houston, we have a blender
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
