its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she told me i tasted like america
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The air was thick with penises
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
