I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
