There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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