are you so shy because you have an std?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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