I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize