I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
