Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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