due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
