Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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