People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
