Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
