Plan B is the new Plan A
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
