My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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