I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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