Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
