She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
