i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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