I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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