Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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