The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
