He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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