it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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