It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
