omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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