Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
