break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
