when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
