I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
