we have officially lost it.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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