Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize