"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
