A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
