i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
