come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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