please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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