If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
