saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
