Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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