I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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