On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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