Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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