The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
MIDGETS
????
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize