My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
