Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
