I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
