Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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