Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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