even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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