I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
