he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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