Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
