so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
