just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
