I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
