just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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