Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
