worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
