So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
