look no pants
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
