Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
