yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
