WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
