she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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