Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is Oprah even human
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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