I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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