I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
