stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
